Author: freshpaintandfriedchicken

Summer has transitioned into September and our house is a flurry of figuring out new routines and developing the capacity to handle a full fledged Kindergarten schedule. In order to celebrate all of the finished homework making it into the backpack at a decent hour, my daughter, Lorelai and I decided to have a late afternoon tea party. It was the first time we had sat down together without a checklist in a while, and the rest was much needed. However, Lorelai  took our happy rest to the next level when she locked eyes with me across the table and started singing “When peace like a river attendeth my way…” and we both continued singing “It is Well” with all of our hearts over our tea cups. Despite a tired three-year old in my lap and a one year old begging to “eat, eat,” joy consumed the already happy moment and enveloped us both as we worshiped together,  THEN she stopped and told me that she did not think that the lyrics were right. Only my firstborn would find a way to correct a hymn. She went on to explain that the song kept saying “it is well with MY soul” and that “a song that is all about me cannot make things well.”  She said “it should be it is well with my and His soul” because “it can only be well if He is there.” What a powerful statement. What a truth! I told her that she is absolutely right and that the song is implying that it is well because He is there. (I also got to teach the word implying- hurray for teaching moments!) We discussed that the opposite is also true, that things cannot be well if He is not there and that when we have periods in our day of frustration and fits and fury (it is not always a tea party!) that we should stop and invite Him into those moments. Because in those moments something needs to be fixed and healed, and if He is there, it is well. We both became inspired by this idea and brainstormed how to make His presence felt when we need it the most. So, today, the worrying parts of my heart that wonder if things are well at school are settled, and my dread for the after school sleepy meltdown is not as strong because my heart is full of hope because He is already there, and it is well.

I finally came up with the perfect hashtag for toddlerhood… #allthequestions There are just so many questions. As a mom, I answer some questions on autopilot, later regretting the nodding of my head that absentmindedly gave consent to allowing the girls to move all of their clothes into my room so they could play “new closet” (yesterday) or, as all good parents do, I end up making up an answer with just the right amount of confidence, just so the questions will stop “That allergy pill just tastes like a piece of Animal Cracker because they put Animal Cracker flavoring in it for the kids who do not like it, your stuffy nose from crying because you don’t want to go to bed will be better as soon as you fall asleep (last year)”and lastly there is the brush-off and distract technique that came in quite handy last week on the 4th of July…”How fireworks work is a very scientific question that we can explore and study together later, look there is a bright pink one!!”

However, there are some questions that just make you want to stop everything, pull them into your lap and have a long heart- to- heart discussion. In those moments, you remember that all of the questions they cycle through are worth it for the times when they articulate one that you just can’t wait to answer. One such moment occurred last week while our family was serving at a youth camp. My sweet three year old, Scarlett, was in my arms during one of the morning worship services, and she was just singing her heart out. Scarlett is extremely talented musically in that she learns a tune very well and can remember the words to a song after just hearing it once, so she really knew what to sing after hearing the camp songs a few times! As we were walking out of the service. she looked up at me and said the following string of thoughts

“I sang to Jesus! Mom, I was really talking to Him! And He really liked it! I mean, I    think He did. I hope He did. Mom, did He like it?”

I was joyfully and gratefully taking in her excited chatter about the time she had just spent with Jesus, until she got to her question. Then I stopped in my tracks and turned around to relieve her worries and told her that He definitely liked it, He loved it! The look on her face could only be described as beaming with untold relief and elation!

In the week that has followed, I have been mulling over the appropriateness of her question and have found myself convicted of not asking it myself. The Lord brought Galations 1:10 to mind, “Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” You see, Scarlett embodies this really well. I have never seen a child with such a lack of concern for the opinions of others. She even introduced herself to the teenage campers this week like this, ” I’m old. I’m 3. I’m dangerous and I’m Scarlett.” She did not care that she was younger than almost everyone there or that she was working on walking a pretend balance beam while the others were conquering the zip line. She is confident in who she is, but when it came to pleasing the Lord, she took pause and sought assurance that she had made Him happy. Let us all take a tip out of Scarlett’s play book this week and walk in confidence among people and humility with the Lord, finding our fullest joy in knowing that we please the Lord by examining not only our worship but our daily actions and as we ask, “Did He like it?” Be prepared to be pulled into His lap and filled with His attention and love as He has been ready and waiting for those words to cycle through our endless questions. It will be a welcome break from “Will they ever sleep through the night?”  🙂

“Wait just one minute….let me finish just this load of clothes…after I load the dishwasher…when I get dinner started.. after just one cup of coffee..let me finish my thoughts and send this one message..I need to take this one call.. right after the baby goes down for a nap…as soon as I get home…”

My kids hear these words in response to so many requests. Every day.  My little girls are always asking for something, but more importantly they are asking for someone. Me.

“Will you read me a story? Can we please have a snack? I need a drink? Ouch! I hurt my leg! Can you fix it? Can we paint? Can we fill up the pool and swim outside? Can you set up a craft with us? Can we cook something together? Let’s go for a walk! Tickle me!”

They express their need in an unending list of questions and requests, and I respond, a lot of the time, with a matching list of excuses.  And I usually believe I am right in doing so, I mean, those things have to get done, right? My kids can’t keep going without clean clothes and dishes  or a mommy without coffee…It bothered me that I responded to them in this way, but I couldn’t put my finger on what to do. Then one morning I was in a Sunday School class and someone made an off-handed comment that pierced right to my heart. The discussion was about Jesus performing healing miracles while He was traveling and preaching, and as we were getting to the part where Jesus turned to the man in need of healing, the teacher said “…and as Jesus always does, He stopped.” Whoa. I started asking myself if that was true. “Always” statements need to be tested.

Zacchaeus. The woman with the bleeding condition. The Roman official with the dying son. The lame man brought in on a mat by his friends.The blind. The deaf. The hungry. Endless stories flooded my mind where I could picture Jesus either on the road walking to a destination or in the middle of a sermon when He was met with a question or request from an individual, AND HE STOPPED. It is such a large part of what makes Him  not only powerful, but kind. He listens to every request and stops to address it. If my heart’s desire is to show my children the kindness of the Lord in the way that I parent, then I need to learn the skill of stopping. Surely, the daily ministry of Jesus was far more important than my daily obligations. If He can gently stop and meet the needs of His children, I know that I should as well.

When I started stopping and responding to my kids with more time together, the joy of parenting multiplied and the energy I got from actually having fun with them gave me the strength to finish my work as well. And what about when the days are not so joyous, and I get stuck in the rut of excuses or do not know how to get it all done? Well, I ask Jesus what to do, and as He always does…He stops.

“Just give me a little space!” I squeeze out as my arms are raised above my head and 6 little hands crowd around me to help pour and stir the “gredients.” All I want in that moment is to check dinner off of the list of meals that I am to prepare for the day, and their greatest desire is to help, every step of the way! A “please try not to splatter” here and an “oops, sorry Mommy” there all lead to two things: a dinner that makes its way to the table at least 30 minutes later than necessary and a really messy stove to tackle after we eat. During those moments I feel all kinds of emotions ranging from love to frustration, but one specific day when the crumbs settled and I beheld that awful stove, I felt like the Lord just tapped me on the shoulder and said, “It is a pretty big, time-consuming mess when you let your kids help with something you could easily do yourself, isn’t it? I know what you are feeling. I feel it every day when I allow My kids to be a part of My plans and My work. But I love seeing them full of purpose and joy when they get to help, and I am always there to clean up the messes. You’re welcome.” And I just stared at that stove trying to cement that image in my mind so that I could bask in the patience and love of the Lord towards me and beg Him to teach me how to love my kids in the same way. You see, He loves them so well, and I just want to help.

“Teach your children to be brave!” they said. “It will be good for them!” they said.  Besides my courageous middle child’s run in with the scissors that resulted in her full fledged belief that she is a hairdresser (“hide yo’ scissors!” is our new family motto), her adventurous climbing spirit has led her to two head injuries, post-hair cut, and her bravery knows no bounds! On top of that, my youngest has left crawling in the dust and has fully embraced her status as “toddler”. The bumps and bruises are as numerous as my eldest daughter’s meltdowns and questions as she ventures towards kindergarten and is teetering between being one of “the littles” at home and developing into a school-aged kid. As I reflected on the little moments of hurt my children have experienced this week and allowed my mind to wander to all of the possibilities of danger that surround them, I started to pray for the Lord to help me to reconcile my responsibility to protect them with my desire to trust and rest in Him. He brought to mind how I feel when my kids spend the night away from us.  The truth is that I honestly cannot sleep unless I have photo evidence that they made it to bed and are sleeping sans blankets covering their faces. I fully trust their wonderful grandparents who take the best care of them whenever we are away, but there is something about that texted photo that gives me what I need in order to fully rest: assurance. When the Lord brought me to the end of that memory, my heart lit up with the words of a song that I have been singing for as long as I can remember, “Blessed Assurance.” In that moment, as the words played in my mind and heart, I knew that because “Jesus is mine” I can feel assured that no matter what happens, I will always have everything that I need. I do not have to wait for them to be safely asleep before I feel assured, I can rest in Him all day, every day, “Oh what a foretaste of glory divine!”